Friday, August 04, 2006

when your soul embarks

Originally uploaded by Pancakes.
K, so there's alot going on.

I'm getting my life together. After having a serious case of strep and becoming one year older, I'm all like... yeah, I'm gonna get my life together. Somehow sitting here in my underwear with a ravaged piece of birthday cake I had for breakfast sitting in front of me as I tell hundreds of people all about me doesnt seem.... "together." But I swear to god...

I have all these things to do, but it all becomes possible with one step.... finishing my bedroom. I got some great gifts, like a very nice, good sized TV with a built-in DVD player, and an easil. These are both supposed to somehow squeeze into the tiny space referred to as my room, so I've had to apply alot of creativity to the re-arranging process. It's finished, though, and all I have to do now is put everything away, buy a few things to finish off the decor, and hang up every piece of clothing I own, since making room for tvs and easils required banishing the awesome antique dresser I had.

But see... as soon as I'm finished, I can start using the space to get shit done. I want to paint, design, sew, write, photograph, study, read, workout, watch movies and TV, play x-box, visit with Cheesecake (my new hamster), hang out, have sex... all of which I can now do in my room, comfortably and peacefully (if so desired), now that it's no longer pile of disorganized crap and clothing that no one can navigate without breaking off a limb.

So that's good. Now I just have to figure out my relationship world. It's hectic at the moment.
Plus, I'm crazy horny right now considering... HE seems to be mad at me for one reason or another, R is at band camp (yes, I just uttered the words BAND CAMP... shut up), and I don't want to fuck De again, considering that after having good sex, I realize that sex with De is the worst sex possible.
So I'm screwed, in every way except the way I want to be.

Oh yeah.. so R wants me to drive out to Cumberland University today to visit him at band camp. That's about an hour drive, with much gas lossage and much unfamiliar interstate... all for no more then alot of high school kids, sun, and maybe one hour to hang out with R. No thank you.
I was surprised with an email from the 35-year old... wait, that's become 36... and he's in town tonight. I'm thinking about giving him a ring... we always have interesting conversation and I would like to see him.
I have to figure out how to patch things up with HIM. Of course it didn't help last night when at 9:30 I told him I'd call him back in about an hour, and didn't bother even send a text message until 2 AM.
I also have to set a date with kitchen boy C, with whom my friendship has completely dissolved. Neither one of us managed to say anything until last night, and now we need to "get together and talk." Of course he's left the planning up to me... "Just tell me when and where, I'll be there." God that pisses me off.

Anyway. Today I have cleaning and shopping to do.. as housewife-ish as that sounds. Luckily I'm up early, so I have that whole... "long day ahead of me" feeling.



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